1. Understand your motives and goals

When tossing up the idea, ask yourself and each other: Why do you want to live together?

No matter how long you and your partner have been together, the decision to move in is often shaped by a whole cocktail of reasons.

Some will be purely about your journey as a couple – like taking the next step and sharing more of your life together. Others will be more logistical – like saving money or wanting to start investing in property.

It’s okay to have different factors guiding you. But it’s important that your biggest motivation is an unwavering desire to live together.

So have a conversation. Make sure you’re both on the same page – and will remain so going forward.

2. Trial ‘living’ together

Before sharing a wardrobe, have a few dress rehearsals.

You’ve spent many days and nights together already. But this time, extend it to a week. Share the cooking; divvy up the cleaning. This might be at one of your places, or you could play make-believe at a fancy Airbnb.

If it feels right, you’ll know. And if it doesn’t feel right, you’ll really know.

The latter may be hard – but listen to that feeling. Perhaps you’re simply not ready yet. If this is the case, hold off until you are. It’ll make it sweeter when you do move in together!

 

 

3. Talk through your non-negotiables early

Before you start packing, clarify the habits and boundaries that keep you sane.

Maybe you need quiet mornings. Maybe they need an uninterrupted TV or social media wind-down at night. Perhaps one of you can’t sleep with the fan on, and the other can’t sleep without it.

Naming your non-negotiables upfront avoids resentments later. And it helps you build a home that respects how you both function best.

Whatever expectations either of you has, talk about them sooner rather than later!

4. Make sure it feels like home for both of you

Whether you’ve found a brand-new place or are moving into your partner’s home (or vice versa), make it feel like mutual turf from the get-go.

That means making decisions about your shared space, such as where furniture goes, what hangs on the wall and which dish cleaner you prefer.

This is particularly important if the place was initially only one of yours. It’s now both of yours. And you should have an equal say in building your new home together.

5. Be ruthless (yet respectful) with belongings

You’ve signed the contract or lease, and move-in day is on the horizon. How will you combine two households’ worth of furniture and belongings into one? (Two washing machines might be excessive!)

Well, clutter isn’t the answer. And not every item you own can – or should – make it through the front door. So sort through each of your inventories and label things: keep, store, sell, donate or toss.

As it costs money to store and takes time to sell, you may opt to donate or toss.

But be careful to respect your partner’s belongings. What looks like trash to you could be a source of sentimentality and happy memories for them.

 

 

6. Be clear about money

In your relationship, moving in might be the first time you’ve needed to seriously talk about money. It can be difficult, but you’ll thank yourself later.

You’ll need to ask questions like:

• Will we split the bills and rent – or mortgage and loan repayments – evenly?
• Will we set up a joint account for household goods?
• What will we do if one of us can’t cover their costs?

The answer to these questions might depend on how much either of you earns, if you have other financial responsibilities or if one of you is temporarily out of work.

In day-to-day life, you might be surprised how much you end up buying for each other: grocery runs, Uber Eats deliveries, emergency Panadol, etc. So if you decide against a joint account, download a digital tool to easily record what you’ve spent and what you’re owed.

7. Learn the best ways to communicate

You know what they say… communication is key. So, even though you know your partner inside out, you may still need to brush up on how they like to give and receive information – and vice versa.

Some things to ask yourselves:

• Will you keep each other updated on your whereabouts, or will that push boundaries?
• Should issues be brought up in the moment, or when the dust settles?
• If one of you plans to have a guest over, will you let the other know? Or ask if it’s okay?

You might start to feel like you’ve lost the spark in your relationship if all you talk about is mundane logistics.

So dedicate a time in your week for household conversations – or create a separate messaging space. You can also set up a shared calendar so you won’t feel like you’re constantly asking, ‘Will you be home for dinner?’

 

 

8. Maintain your individuality

This is a big one! Before you lived together, your partner was likely already a significant part of your life. But now, that’ll be dialled up to 100. Mornings, nights, mealtimes, weekends – they’re there. And it’s going to be a lot of fun.

But for your long-term sense of individuality, and the long-term strength of your relationship, you’ll still need to carve out space for yourself and your own life.

That might be claiming a space in your home to engage in your hobbies. Like a corner with a desk, a beanbag or an easel.

It might also involve continuing to go places without your partner, such as seeing friends and family. These connections and experiences are vital to your sense of self. Plus, you’ll come home with plenty of fun stories to share!

9. Get ready to see and be seen

Bed hair, burnt toast, messy wardrobes and moments you never thought you would witness.

Living together isn’t always glamorous, but it is wonderfully real.

There’s no hiding under one roof.

Just the comfort of being completely yourself with someone else.

 

 

Are you and your partner buying your first shared home? Browse our listings to find your ultimate house of love.